


Dude, You're Not Edward Cullen from Twilight

by whenshewrites



Series: A Collection of One-Shots and Tumblr Prompts [88]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, But He Might be Jacob, Crack, Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Derek Hale has Abs, Derek Hale is Not Edward Cullen, Derek Isn't Spider Man Either, Derek has a kid, Erica Taught Her, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Meet-Cute, Single Parent Derek Hale, Single Parent Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Likes Them, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit, Stiles Stilinski is a Mess, Stiles has a kid, Stiles's Kid is an Extortionist, Though Stiles Would be Turned On by That, they're both adorable, tumblr inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23920480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenshewrites/pseuds/whenshewrites
Summary: Stiles is a tired!single dad with Twilight knowledge, Derek is the shirtless!hot dude who works out at the park, and their kids are too adorable to be real.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: A Collection of One-Shots and Tumblr Prompts [88]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956889
Comments: 45
Kudos: 685





	Dude, You're Not Edward Cullen from Twilight

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr inspired, I have no excuses, Stiles has no control over his mouth and Derek likes that.

Stiles didn’t understand the new hot guy.

Up until two weeks ago, Stiles could take his daughter to the park without having a panic attack. He’d been fine, completely and totally fine, and even looked forward to the days when he got out of the house. But then out of the middle of nowhere, came a literal Greek god. One who decided the green open expanse around the playground was a good place to workout, because that totally made sense. And for some reason, he was always shirtless. Because apparently that made sense too.

Stiles never had a problem striking up a conversation with people. He knew all the park parents and was fast friends with the group of old ladies that always powerwalked by. Stiles was friendly, dammit. He was likable and outgoing. But as for this new hot guy— fuck— Stiles couldn’t make himself say a word.

He also couldn’t stop staring. It was starting to be detrimental to his health and Stiles had begun to dread the park. The park, of all places.

His daughter wasn’t so impressed.

“Da-aad,” Emma whined, giving him the large brown eyes. Stiles’s dad said she got those from him and found it hilarious that Stiles couldn’t say no to her demands whenever they came into play. “It’s Saturday, you promised we’d go to the park. Ben’s waiting for me!”

“Um, Ben?” Stiles said, raising a brow. “Hold on a second, squirt, why have I not heard about this Ben character before?”

“He’s new,” Emma said, crossing her arms with a pout. “He needed friends.”

“Oh? So I don’t need to have a chat with him?”

Emma’s brown eyes turned murderous. For a six-year-old, she had that skill down to a T. Stiles didn’t even want to think about how the expression was going to evolve as she got older. “Don’t you dare scare him away, dad. Or I’ll tell Grandpa.”

“I think Gramps might agree with me. And he’s got a gun.”

“Then I’ll tell Auntie Lydia.”

Stiles gaped at her, raising an impressed eyebrow. Emma smirked back at him and Stiles shook his head, closing his mouth with a sigh. “That’s extortion, Emma. Though I’ve never been so proud, despite the fact you used it against me.”

“Auntie Erica taught me,” Emma said, looking proud. Stiles snorted.

“Of course she did, the psycho. Fine, we’ll go. Get your shoes.”

Emma cheered and took off, and Stiles pressed two fingers to the bridge of his nose. He glanced down at himself and briefly debated changing— but that was stupid. He was going to the park for his daughter whom he loved _,_ not for some fitness freak who used the monkey bars to do pullups. Stiles didn’t need to change. He was fine going to the park in his Saturday loungewear of sweatpants and an old t-shirt.

Stiles might have changed.

And less than an hour later, they were approaching the park. Stiles hoped desperately the hot new guy wasn’t there, thumbing with the hem of his shirt as they walked. Emma took off toward the slides the second they arrived and Stiles started toward the park benches, eyeing the surrounding area nervously.

But of course, because it was just his luck, the guy was here. Shirtless, sweating, and hanging upside down from the monkey bars like freaking Spider-man while he did crunches. It wasn’t fair.

Stiles groaned and sat down, burying his face in his hands. He was an adult, dammit, he could get through his morning without staring at a sexy Greek god less than ten feet away. Stiles could avoid looking as the dude made unfairly hot grunting noises, and he would definitely  _ not  _ drool at the way those abs flexed every time he did a crunch. Because Stiles was an adult and he was mature and—

And he was staring. Dammit.

Stiles tore his gaze away again. But he only lasted a few seconds before slowly peeking back again, jaw dropping as the guy literally  _ glistened  _ in sweat. This wasn’t Twilight. That shouldn’t be possible.

Then suddenly, the guy wasn’t doing crunches anymore. 

Grey-green eyes locked with Stiles’s and the guy raised an eyebrow, tilting his head. Stiles snapped back to reality and choked on his own spit, turning bright red as the Greek god literally  _ smirked.  _ Two large hands threaded together behind his head and the man smirked coyly, offering an obvious wink.

“Oh my god,” Stiles said, looking sharply away. He heard the guy chuckle.

Stiles did his best not to look back for the rest of the hour, staring straight ahead at nothing while his face burned with heat. Terrified the guy would see him looking again, he didn’t even attempt to sneak one last glance over. Stiles was pretty sure he could never return to this park again.

Emma was going to hate him.

Speak of the extortionist, Stiles blinked and forced a smile as she came running over, a little boy with dark black hair at her heels. Stiles arched an eyebrow and Emma blushed, clasping her hands behind her back as she nodded toward the kid shyly. 

“Dad, this is Ben. Ben, this is my dad.”

“Ah,” Stiles said, looking at him. He reveled a little too much in the way the boy shuffled nervously underneath his gaze. “So you’re the kid my daughter’s befriended.”

“Hi,” Ben said quietly. It was kind of adorable. Stiles couldn’t resist grinning.

“Are your parents here, Ben?”

“My dad is,” the kid said, still not looking at him. 

“Oh? Well, kiddo, I’d love to meet him. Care to introduce me?”

Ben looked up, eyes slightly wide, and Stiles smiled softly. Slowly, the kid nodded, and Stiles glanced toward Emma as he started away. She was giving him a threatening look that made Stiles barked out a laugh, ruffling her hair. 

“Don’t worry, Em, I won’t scare him off. Unless his dad is an evil mastermind or serial killer or—” Stiles looked up and cut off suddenly, staring at the man Ben was pulling over.  _ Or the hot guy who always works out.  _ He went shock-still and the guy looked surprised too; then smug. Stiles felt himself turn red all over again.

Good lord, why did the universe hate him?

“This is my dad,” Ben said shyly. 

“Derek,” the guy said, offering out a hand. “Derek Hale.”

Stiles stared for a long moment. He was pretty sure he was gaping quite unattractively, but his mind was moving too slow for proper thought. Until Emma elbowed him in the ribs, at least. Stiles startled, then took Derek’s hand and shook it a little too hard. “Uh, Stiles. Stiles Stilinski.”

“Well, Stiles,” Derek said, smirking. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“It really is,” Stiles said intelligently, then flushed even brighter. Derek’s smirk grew. 

“Oh my god, dad,” Emma muttered. She rolled her eyes and grabbed Ben’s hand, pulling him back toward the playground. “You’re so embarrassing.”

Stiles deflated, watching her go. Derek cleared his throat.

“So.”

“So,” Stiles said, looking at him. He suddenly remembered the way Derek had looked when working out, skin glistening like he was freaking Edward Cullen or something, and Stiles felt that image bring to life some unfairly good things in his stomach. Or maybe a little lower than that. 

“So, I was wondering—” Derek started, but Stiles cut him off with a sudden jumble of word vomit. Of course, he did.

“Dude, you’re not Edward Cullen from Twilight.”

Derek blinked. Stiles clapped a hand over his mouth but it was too late. The words were still coming. 

“And you’re not freaking Spider-Man either. I swear to god, I used to be able to come to this park without my boner fearing for its life and now I can’t even sit still anymore without feeling the need to watch  _ whatever  _ the hell you’re doing. And why does anyone even need to work out that much? You’re a block of muscles and sexiness, dude, we get it.”

Derek’s face was deep red but he looked more amused than embarrassed. Stiles lowered the hand from his mouth and swallowed.

“I’m so sorry, please don’t call the cops on me for sexual harassment or something. I’m usually a good person, I swear. And my daughter needs me to not be a creep at her favorite park.”

Derek laughed and Stiles startled. The man sat down beside him, offering over a small smile. “I work a full job so I don’t usually have the chance to go to the gym. I used to workout at the park in our old city so I figured I’d just do the same here. I didn’t mean to make you… uncomfortable.”

Stiles dropped his gaze, chewing on his lower lip. Why did he never have any control over his freaking mouth? This was how people got arrested. “Um, yeah. I meant all that in a good way, just so you know. Err, I mean. Yeah. Not to be offensive or anything.”

“So Edward from Twilight, huh?”

Stiles closed his eyes. “Dude, you freaking sparkle. How is that even fair?”

“And Spider-Man?”

Stiles opened his eyes to glare at Derek. The man’s eyes danced with amusement and he was definitely enjoying every second of this. “You’re totally making fun of me.”

“I’m just being friendly.”

“Ugh,” Stiles said, rolling his eyes. “Go do pushups or something.”

“Are you sure that’s safe?”

“Oh, you asshole!”

Derek grinned, revealing white bunny teeth. Stiles could have swooned. Literally everything about this man was perfect and Stiles didn’t know how it happened that he was the one to have caught his sarcastically gorgeous attention. He didn’t know if he was lucky or cursed. 

“You’re not so bad looking yourself,” Derek said, still grinning. Stiles’s eyes rounded as he realized he’d said all of that out loud.

“Oh my god,” Stiles said, dropping his face into his hands. “Please just kill me.”

“How about I get your number instead?”

Stiles’s head shot back up. Derek was still watching him, but suddenly he looked less smug and lot more nervous. And a little shy maybe. It was both shocking and downright adorable. Stiles managed a shaky, “W-what?”

“For the kids,” Derek said quickly, the tips of his ears red. “Clearly, they get along and—”

“Yes,” Stiles said. Then he blushed. “For the kids.”

Derek beamed. 

Stiles had just finished putting his number into Derek’s phone, adding a little spider and vampire emoji next to his name, when both Emma and Ben came running back over. Emma paused and looked between him and Derek, her expression turning suspicious. Stiles blushed again. His daughter was a menace, honestly.

“Dad,” Emma said flatly. “Ben’s my new best friend. Can he come over?”

Stiles raised an eyebrow and stared at her. She crossed her arms, brown eyes doing their thing, and at the same time, brimming with challenge.

“Ben’s dad could come too,” she said. Stiles gaped. 

“Emma!”  _ Traitor. _

“I could,” Derek said seriously, though there was a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “For the kids.”

Stiles gave him a flat look, before looking back at his daughter. She’d uncrossed her arms and gone full adorable eyes now, paired with Ben’s hopeful expression at her side. Stiles never stood a chance. He deflated with a sigh. “Fine, I don’t see why not. But Emma, you owe me a week of good behavior for this.”

“That’s extortion,” she said, smirking. Derek barked out a surprised laugh.

“I hate everything,” Stiles muttered. “Especially Erica.”

Emma beamed wide and bright, and grabbed Ben’s hand again, pulling him off toward the sidewalk. Stiles shook his head, glancing over at Derek. “Is this is okay?”

“It is with me,” Derek said sincerely. “You?”

“Dude, I was just drooling over your sparkling body like an hour ago. My definition of okay is so out of wack right now, I don’t even know where to start.”

Derek grinned, which Stiles decided he liked. It was a good expression on the guy. “Come on,” Derek said, starting after the kids. “They’re not going to wait.”

“Blame Emma,” Stiles snorted, following. “My dad likes to say she’s my retribution for how difficult I was as a kid. It’s in the genes, apparently.”

“Oh, trust me, I understand,” Derek said. “Ben can be like... an untrained puppy sometimes.”

Stiles raised a brow, looking at him. Ben seemed more like a cute, quiet little kid than a troublemaker. Derek shrugged with a mysterious smile, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“Let’s just say Edward Cullen isn’t exactly accurate in my case.”

“Dude, what is that even supposed to mean?”

“One day,” Derek said, grinning wolfishly. “You just might find out.”

Stiles had no idea what that meant. But Derek only winked—  _ winked—  _ again and kept walking. Blinking a few times, Stiles followed him. He had a feeling there was more to his guy than his abs. Stiles also had a feeling he was very interested to know.  _ One day,  _ Derek had said. Like he expected there would be more of them than this one.

Stiles felt happily warm and fuzzy about that.

**Author's Note:**

> Of courses, the comments and support you guys leave make my day. I hope you all enjoyed and are being safe during this time! Inspired by this post:
> 
> [ https://when-she-writes-stuff.tumblr.com/post/616682974651580416](https://when-she-writes-stuff.tumblr.com/post/616786037153349632/ryvetted4-sterek-au-single-daddy-stiles-brings)


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